Learning to Lead from the Unknown

From the land of the snow, Upstate New York

01.19.2026

What a Month of Formal Meditation Is Teaching Me About Leadership in Uncertain Times

We are living in uncertain times.

Laws and regulations change rapidly. Social and political climates shift without warning. For immigrants, BIPOC communities, and women—especially those rebuilding after rupture or transition—the ground beneath our feet can feel perpetually unstable.

This is not abstract for me.

I am a Latina immigrant. A former corporate lawyer. A somatic educator, leadership mentor, and nonprofit founder working at the intersection of trauma-informed systems, nervous system regulation, and inclusive leadership development. Again and again, I chose to walk away from paths that offered external security but required internal collapse.

I have been rebuilding my life in a country that is not my birthplace, at 40, after a divorce—without inherited safety nets, without a permanent home base I can call mine, and without the reassurance of a predictable salaried role.

In alignment with the energy of winter—of going inward to listen more deeply—I am currently in a one-month tantric meditation retreat. For this month, I spend at least six hours a day in formal meditation, not as an escape from the world, but as a way of clarifying how my leadership is meant to expand in these uncertain times we are collectively navigating.

The first time I entered this retreat, in 2019, it was out of pure survival. I was navigating PTSD, shock, and profound loss. This tantric meditation practice held me when I could not hold myself.

Seven years later, I am here again—but this time by conscious choice, not survival. Unlike the structured meditation retreats I have immersed myself in over the last decade, this Vajrayogini close retreat unfolds without a teacher or external authority. It is just myself, my own mind, and an inner source of guidance—wisdom held in the feminine archetypal form of Vajrayogini. This practice asks for radical responsibility: to listen inwardly, to trust embodied intelligence, and to meet experience without mediation.

This retreat coincides with the completion of several intertwined cycles: three years of living in a spiritual community; three years of intentional celibacy devoted to healing, integration, and deep nervous system repair; and the closing of an identity shaped by endurance, over-functioning, and self-sacrifice. I am stepping forward releasing identities formed around survival and proving.

What I am cultivating now is something different.

I am learning how to remain present and resourced in uncertainty—without bypassing, without collapsing, and without outsourcing my sense of safety to external structures.

This is what I mean by learning to lead from the unknown.

• Not leading from certainty.

• Not leading from control.

• Not leading from performative resilience.

But leading from capacity.

• From a regulated nervous system.

• From embodied presence.

• From the ability to stay connected to values, ethics, and compassion when outcomes are unclear.

• From the willingness to forgive without forgetting—and to release resentment without erasing truth.

As an immigrant woman, I am acutely aware that uncertainty is not evenly distributed. Some bodies and identities are asked to hold more risk than others. This is why leadership, inclusion, and equity cannot remain theoretical. They must be lived, somatic, and structurally informed.

Alongside this retreat, I am consciously expanding how my leadership meets the professional world. I am engaging opportunities, roles, and collaborations that value emotional intelligence, embodied leadership, trauma-informed systems thinking, and cross-cultural fluency—particularly within leadership development, DEI, and organizational cultures navigating complexity, inclusion, and systemic change.

My background spans corporate law, nonprofit leadership, executive wellness, somatic education, and nervous system regulation. Equally important is the lived experience of rebuilding a life from the ground up—without numbing, bypassing, or abandoning the heart.

I no longer believe leadership requires certainty.

I believe it requires capacity:

• Capacity to stay present during instability

• Capacity to make decisions without urgency-driven harm

• Capacity to hold power without domination

• Capacity to lead inclusively without losing coherence

This is the path of a modern female tantric practitioner—not removed from society, but walking directly through its contradictions with awareness, accountability, and devotion.

This is the leadership I am here to embody.

And this is the leadership I am here to offer.

If this resonates, I’d love for it to reach others navigating uncertainty, so please feel free to share it.

Much love,

Fiorella Amado 🌷

joyfulservice@fiorellaamado.com