Catskills, New York

5.25.2023

When I witnessed the violent suicide of a lover years ago, I ran away and moved to Long Island, New York for a new fresh beginning. My mom told me to not speak about it even to our relatives. 

I was in so much pain, and confusion, and on top of that “shame perfume” went deep into every single cell of my body.

In silence, I suffer and struggle. I lived in hell for almost a year under the effects of PTSD. I was not able to see the beauty, the colors, and the love of my new surroundings. 

Most of the time I was angry, exuding rage in every single interaction, everything became a threat. Talking therapy did not help at all and I was using meditation to disconnect from my body and my current pain.

I remembered very clearly the day which finally I was able to say out loud, “I want to die, I want to disappear, it’s too much”

The answer I got from my partner was “I am calling an ambulance right now”

I knew that means, I will be taken to an emergency room to receive sedatives to switch me off. I felt punished, and so ashamed to express myself. 

I begged him to don't do it and I did my best to get myself together and ask him to hold me in his lap.

I was extremely fortunate to have another human to hold me at that moment and to have the possibility, months later, to travel to a little island in Thailand to embark on a Sacred Journey using feminine embodiment practices to address trauma. 

Finally, I was in a safe and sacred space to express myself fully. No more shame, no more silence, I was able to articulate in words what was happening inside myself, welcoming and releasing sensations and emotions in the body through somatic practices.

@joyful.latina is the way I’ve transformed pain, rage, grief, shame, fear, and abandonment wounds from childhood that this traumatic event in my life awoke.

I am in service, supporting you to regulate your nervous system feel safe inside your feminine body to LEAD transformation from your JOYFUL self.

✨Let’s normalize that all unpleasant feelings, pain and sorrow are part of our human experience. 

I would be delighted to share with you feminine embodiment and somatic practices  to support your mental health and well-being ♥️

Reach out, my dear!

Much love,

Fio 🌷

joyfulservice@fiorellaamado.com